| The author of Unconditional Success helps you discover self-worth and self-belief |
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The biggest part of any success is not skill, ability or even experience. It is self-belief, it is courage and it is the willingness to have a go and find out.
Woody Allen once said "80 per cent of success is just turning up!" I think he was right; a great part of being successful is simply putting ourselves in a position to be successful, believing in ourselves enough to go for what we want.
This means starting to act upon our inspired ideas, taking bold new steps, trying new things, taking baby steps. But one of the greatest stumbling blocks many of us face is that voice that says, "But who are you to do this? You're no-one special, you haven't got what it takes."
Voices of fear
Then we get all the other voices of fear telling us we'll fail, look stupid, end up poor, alone - whatever our particular forms of self-attack are. So we end up playing small, often rationalising away why we can't do things, or putting our dreams on the back burner and waiting.
But then we have the pain of unfulfilled dreams, and rob ourselves of so much.
Strange as it may sound, one of our greatest fears is not failure, but great success. Here I mean the success not just of money, status and material things, but having inner abundance, inspired ideas, support, love, creativity and flow in our lives.
We are so conditioned in the ethic of struggle and sacrifice, and that we only deserve what we have paid a high emotional price for, that when things go very well for us, and even easily, then deep down feelings of unworthiness, lack of self-belief, lack of deserving and fear can arise.
When we recognise that this is an almost inevitable part of the process, we can learn to deal with these thoughts and feelings so that they don't hold us back so much, and we don't sabotage our success.
A path of courage
In my experience, most people don't feel quite up to the job, they feel unworthy, perhaps even useless. It's not about waiting until the day we feel good enough, but taking the step in front of us, however big or small, and growing as we grow. Then our unconditional success becomes the path of courage, facing and growing through our fears, doubts or anxieties.
We recognise that the greatest successes are not only what we achieve in the world, but the inner obstacles we overcome and grow beyond. The inner miles we travel may require greater courage than the outer miles.
Our playing small does not serve the world. We are not here to hide but to shine. We are here to release ourselves from our fears.
But to do so we have to acknowledge our fears and face and dissolve them. We need to remember that there is a bigger force within us than our ego, and this is our unconditional Self, our spirit, which knows nothing of fear, and is forever gently pushing us to blossom into our true selves. This is the path of transformation, and we build up the self-belief as we go.
Flying and falling
We need to get more comfortable with rejection or disappointment, be less attached to the outcome and just act anyway. Did you know a baby will fall about 400 times before it learns to walk? Just imagine if we took our adult mentality to being a child. We'd be saying, "Forget this walking business, I just look stupid, I keep falling over all the time! I'll go around in a pushchair for the rest of my life!"
Yet this is what life is often like - sometimes it's about flying, sometimes about falling, but keep getting up and keep moving onto higher ground.
Start doing what you would do if you had self-belief. I've been on workshops to build self-belief, done prayers, affirmations - everything! I have found the greatest force to build self-belief is courage to start doing what you would do if you already had it. This is the path of courage.
Start doing what truly inspires, thrills and challenges you. It will stimulate all sorts of excitement, fear and adrenalin, but it opens the doors to the joy of real growth, self-discovery and fulfilment. Every moment offers us opportunities to step into our greater Self.
Suggested actions:
- Do one thing in the next seven days that scares the pants off you, but is really you.
- Write down six things that you would do if you really believed in yourself.
- Stop waiting and start doing three of those things.
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